Story adapted from an article originally shared through Psychology Today
Receiving an undergraduate degree is a significant event in an individual’s life, and an accomplishment which requires patience, diligence and tenacity. As such, it's natural for those close to a graduate to express their pride and happiness. Although the brief act of congratulations might seem simple, evidence suggests that it might have farther-reaching effects than one might think.
According to research conducted at MSU (Wolfe et al., 2025), first-generation college students in particular deeply internalize positive messages from family and friends at graduation, and hearing these words of encouragement can impact their mindset and self-image well into their respective careers.
In addition to the expected difficulties of adjusting to undergraduate life, first-generation college students (FGCS) face a different set of challenges on campus and beyond. Navigating an unfamiliar academic and professional environment without context can often cause additional stress, but consistent parental encouragement throughout this process can improve outcomes for these students.
This principle holds true at the time of graduation as well. Brooke H. Wolfe, Ph.D. and her team identified three main elements of memorable messages presented to FGCS which leave a strong impression over a long period of time. Perceptions of these elements can indicate the dynamic present between parents and children, as well as the impact of one’s college experience.
Parental Support
Compliments which highlight personal qualities about graduates, such as their determination, work ethic, or intelligence were reported to have positive effects. This kind of specific and thoughtful encouragement reassures students that their unique characteristics are valued.
“[My parents] told me that they were proud of me and that I am the smartest and most determined person they know and that they believe I can do great things and anything I set my mind to.”
Familial Pride
Emphasizing the pride a child’s accomplishment has brought to the whole family also can leave a lasting impact. Especially for FGCS, the reminder that their degrees have set a new precedent within their families can feel very meaningful.
“[My] mom especially was in tears when she told me how proud and honorable I had made the family. It was so touching, I shed tears too.”
Acknowledgement of Transition
Sharing pieces of advice or expectations for a child’s career can help parents to express their faith that their children will accomplish their future goals. A common theme discovered in the study was parents echoing a similar sentiment of staying strong in the face of adversity.
“After I graduated from college, my parents’ most memorable message echoed in my heart… ‘your education is a foundation; now go build your dreams on it.’”
Those who were presented with these sentimental words reported a feeling of affirmation in their decision to pursue a college degree, as well as closeness to their parents. Parents and loved ones who are unsure of what to say as members of the class of 2025 receive their degrees might consider reflecting on what they would like to convey to their children prior to the event, perhaps even by writing a draft. In this way, they will be sure to impart memorable messages that will provide graduating students with the confidence to pursue their aspirations for years to come.